Imperialist Newt Gingrich Fabricates Another Ticking Time Bomb Scenario

Beginning in late 2008, the RAND corporation began lobbying for war in an effort to jump-start the moribund American economy. In an apparent effort to provide more fodder for that cannon, globalist extraordinaire Newt Gingrich warned recently that our next ticking time bomb scenario is likely to happen very soon. If we don't attack Iran and North Korea soon, Gingrich warns, the American economy will be utterly destroyed by the electromagnetic pulse (EMP) of enemy nuclear weapons.


"War is good for the economy." Some of my co-workers agreed with that statement on a recent walk to the local Chevron for a

Unfortunately, the likelihood of Americans being suckered into a frenzy by Newt's latest ticking time bomb scenario is immensely greater than the probability that Newt's apocalypse would ever happen anywhere in the universe.

soda pop.

Rubbish, I said. At best, it only appears to be good for the economy. War, even of a defensive nature, is never good for the economy.War of the kind America has been starting lately is only good for those who have planned in advance how to take advantage of it.

You may not be surprised to hear, then, that a class of snobbish neoconservative elitists have been proposing just such an new war eventuality as a means of getting the United States out of its economic doldrums.

...the RAND Corporation recently presented a shocking proposal to the Pentagon in which it lobbied for a war to be started with a major foreign power in an attempt to stimulate the American economy and prevent a recession.

...RAND suggested that the $700 billion dollars that has been earmarked to bailout Wall Street and failing banks instead be used to finance a new war which would in turn re-invigorate the flagging stock markets.

China’s biggest media outlet, Sohu.com, speculated that the target of the new war would probably be China or Russia, but that it could also be Iran...

The effort to embroil the United States in a

Mr. Gingrich should have been thoroughly discredited by now. What is this man still doing around? Why don't we each just shut him up once and for all with an electromagnetic pulse from our television remote control?

third foreign conflict (perhaps fourth, if Pakistan continues to aim for al Qaeda but bomb itself in the foot) seems to have flagged--until recently. That's where Newt Gingrich has come to the rescue of Establishment neoconservatives.

In the past month, Gingrich spoke apocalyptically in Washington to a group in need of no such suggestions; the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) can foment itself into an apocalyptic lather without Gingrich's help. Yet, here's what Gingrich tantalized them with anyway:

Gingrich heartily recommended a disturbing apocalyptic thriller currently on The New York Times' best-seller list. Written by William Forstchen, One Second After tells the story of what happens to a college town after the lights go out. Not just the lights, actually, but electrical devices of all kinds. Phones go dead, computers fritz, cars won't start. That this is a more than an inconvenience quickly becomes apparent: Patients die in powerless hospitals, and frozen food begins to rot. Word spreads that airliners have simply dropped from sky, including Air Force One. (The president is dead.) Squirrel meat is traded for ammunition as Mexico reclaims Texas, China occupies the West coast, and cannibalistic mobs rampage everywhere else.

Who has such a capability of destroying American

War, even of a defensive nature, is never good for the economy. War of the kind America has been starting lately is only good for those who have figured out in advance a way of taking advantage of it.

electrical devices of all kinds? Well...Iran and North Korea, of course! So we must attack them, Newt bellows. Gingrich's scenario is possible, but like the previous highly unlikely ticking-time-bomb scenarios that Gingrich, Dick Cheney, and Kiefer Sutherland have postulated, this one is also far from realistic. But that doesn't matter--we have an economy to save!

Gingrich is part of, by the way, this same group of Keystone Cops who were completely confident that Saddam Hussein was on the verge of raining down weapons of mass destruction on the American Homeland. Inconveniently, Saddam's "mountains" of nuclear and chemical weapons didn't turn out even to be "molehills", yet Gingrich and his ilk seem hell-bent on--and potentially successful at--sucking America into another phony war. Forget the probability, though. Gingrich hypnosis suggests to our minds that even the remotest of possibility is enough to warrant further expansion of the American empire.

"It's based on fact, it is accurate, and it's horrifying, and we have zero national strategy to respond to it today," Gingrich said. He laid out a vision in which three small nuclear weapons detonated at the right altitude would eliminate all electricity production in the United States. Which is why, he concluded, "I favor taking out Iranian and North Korean missiles on their sites. "

Far too many Americans were stupid enough to believe that the 1994 Newt Republican Contract with America was actually meant for middle-class America. As well,

Gingrich's scenario is possible, but like the previous highly unlikely ticking-time-bomb scenarios that Gingrich, Dick Cheney, and Kiefer Sutherland have postulated, this one is also far from realistic. But that doesn't matter--we have an economy to save!

far too many Americans were suckered by Newt Republicans into believing that we were on Saddam's short list of becoming nuclear, chemical, and biological holocaust victims.

We've already been fooled twice by Newt Gingrich and his Establishment wolf crowd beguilingly beclothed as conservative sheep.

In the past month, Gingrich spoke apocalyptically in Washington to a group in need of no such suggestions; the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) can foment itself into an apocalyptic lather without Gingrich's help.

Could it happen again? Unfortunately, the likelihood that Americans will allow themselves to be worked into a frenzy by Newt's latest ticking time bomb scenario is immensely greater than the probability that Newt's apocalypse would ever happen anywhere in the universe.

He should have been thoroughly discredited by now. What is this man still doing around? Why don't we each just shut him up once and for all with an electromagnetic pulse from our television remote control?

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