Stimulus Package: The American Economy Mocks Thee

Because for years they haven't been able to bring themselves to do what needs to be done, Congress today, in bi-partisan fashion, approved a "stimulus package" for the American economy. It will be scarcely a speed bump to an economy whose political inertia propels it pell-mell in the wrong direction. In other news, a hospital in middle America today helped a man who lost an arm by applying a regular-sized Band-Aid to his bloody stump.

Say it with me! "Stimulus package! Stimulus PACKAGE! STIMULUS PACKAGE!" Like a mantra. If only we all believe collectively, then today's $150 billion bandage applied to America's gaping economic wounds today will put us on the path to making us whole again.

There are certain things that government does that make me so frustrated that I could scream myself an aneurysm. This is one of them. President Bush called the Band-Aid very important.
"This package has the right set of policies and is the right size. It will lead to higher consumer spending and more business incentives this year."
Yes, a little important. For a minute important. (About as important as Bush will be next January 20th.) But nothing will change, because we have yet to modify our suicidal domestic economic policies that got us where we are. A $150 billion "stimulus package" is to America's economy nothing but a light snack. It will stomp this "stimulus package" dead in a couple of weeks and then move on, undaunted, toward oblivion, its $53 trillion of unfunded expenditures gallantly in tow.

Congress, not to be perceived as not doing something, no matter how stupid, quickly asked President Bush where they were supposed to sign on to this panacea for America's economic ills.
Under pressure from the White House for swift action, leaders from both parties have agreed in principle to tax rebates which amount to between $300 and $600 per person.
Actually, I've been hearing that our economy is doing splendidly lately. In light of that good news, this stimulus package should help me be able to afford my own beach house in

A $150 billion "stimulus package" is to America's economy nothing but a light snack. It will stomp this "stimulus package" dead in a couple of weeks. The US teat can not be a source of infinite sustenance for everyone.

California, a new Lear jet, and season tickets to the New York Yankees!!

The American economy is on the verge of going down in flames. The only stimulus package that will help is for Congress to get its act together and make the tough decisions that it needs to. The US teat can not be a source of infinite sustenance for everyone, because that sustenance must first be taken from the finite amount of goods and services that everyone produces. Mao Tse Tung would almost be proud of the American experiment in near-total government.

The size of government has burgeoned far beyond healthy. The amount of money that the Federal Government spends is a disgrace. We have got to have more sensible policy in Washington D.C.

Any presidential candidate who tells you otherwise is a dolt. Any presidential candidate who thinks that today's stimulus band-aid is even a good stop-gap measure doesn't deserve your vote.

Congress: stop taking all our money. A freight train of disaster is bearing down full speed on the United States. Cut taxes now. Cut spending now. That is the stimulus package that the American economy needs. That is the only stimulus package that will work.


  1. So, taking money from some citizens -- or I guess in this case, taking money from citizens in the future -- and giving it out to other citizens to the tune of $300-$600 (when each citizen already effectively owes $140,000 for past overspending) is supposed to "fix the economy"?!? LOL. It's really an attempt to bolster the federal politicians' horrid approval rating.

    When I worked at Boy Scout camp in my teen years, we did a short campfire run-on skit that went like this:

    Boy 1 carrying a small cup and passing Boy 2 on trail: Hey, your tent is on fire!

    Boy 2: What! My tent is on fire and all you have to put it out with is that little cup of water?!

    Boy 1: Water? This is gasoline!

    This silly stimulus package is like putting a cup of gasoline on the fire.

    One more thing: beware of anything that is swiftly passed with "bipartisan" support. One of our best protections is that one group of thugs fights tooth and nail to keep the other group of thugs from getting much of their nefarious desires. When both groups of thugs agree, it's time for citizens to watch out!

  2. In the interest of time I will refrain from writing a post the size of a small novel about how ridiculous this stimulus is. This isn't a stimulus, this is just prolonging the inevitable in hopes that the economic disaster we have put ourselves in won't take place till next year. Let the next guy take care of it-what a great philosophy.

  3. By the way Frank, I love the 'bloody stump, regular sized band-aid analogy.' It is one of the most accurate analogies pertaining to the economy I have ever heard, and the way you worded, also made it the funniest.

  4. Scott,

    You've clarified it for me even better. This really IS money that we don't even have for giving back with the debt shape we're in. I like the gasoline analogy.


    You're right. Everyone's talking about what they'll do to spend their $300 or $600, but that isn't much of a stimulus at all. You're starting to sound a little bit like Ron Paul, which is a great thing. I'm not sure, but I suspect that all other presidential candidates thought the stimulus was the good thing. Wrong!

  5. The 'bloody stump' analogy was a bit harder to come up with than I thought. It took me about 15 minutes to work on just that sentence!


  6. It was a great bipartisan exercise in nothing. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. The Democrats could have helped some people by extending unemployment benefits or food stamps, but they didn't.

  7. This shows how terribly uncreative congress is and how stupid the American people are for buying it.

  8. Frank - great post! There is nothing more to say!


  9. Richard,

    A bipartisan exercise, as Kory implies, in attempting to pull the wool over our eyes. And in many cases it worked.


    Maybe what's left to say is to boycott the refund checks. A grass roots movement of that sort would remind me of the movie "Glory" where, during the Civil War, the all-black Massachussetts 54th infantry regiment tore up their first paychecks as a symbol that they demanded more respect. The American people certainly do in this case.


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